Lent 35 ~ Drink of My Cup

He would make you merit the crown He has destined for you, by giving you some small share in the sufferings He endured during the whole of His mortal life, and you are indeed happy, whatever trials you may be enduring, to be thus in conformity with Him.   ~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

Lent 9 ~ The Cross is a Grace

The cross is good at all times and in all places. It matters little of what wood it is made, provided that it is offered to us by the Sacred Heart of our Lord.

~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoqué

Where the Old Ways Wait

Virtue does not consist in making good resolutions, nor in saying fine words, but in keeping one’s resolutions and carrying out one’s good intentions.   ~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

          January has gone, taking with it half of moody February. It’s only now that I’ve had the chance to step back from frantic work and still myself to look up at the skies. What does God wish of me this Lent, I wonder. The week is far from over but I’m already in the next, prising at a door that remains closed.

          Do the things you should, St Margaret Mary seems to be saying to me, tugging me back to the now. After a time, I get what she means. There have been some habits and intentions that have fallen by the wayside of life since old November, some by necessity and some by neglect. But now, it’s time to return to them, to pick them up and weave them back into my hours, where they belong. The daily walks. The gentle reading. A Pathway Under the Gaze of Mary, a long waited for book, my husband’s Christmas gift to me and Distilled Genius, the new Susan Branch book also gifted to me by a precious friend. Two special books calling out to me to sink my heart into them, for in them lie hidden words God wishes for me to know for the season that is and that is to come. Tending to a garden gone wild because I could not find the heart for it for ever so long now. The quiet wait by the trees, listening to the winds chatter among the firs, allowing them to lift my spirit to the heart of God.

          In the midst of January’s madness a few weeks back, a sign had impossibly pierced my heart.

Of a coming rest in February

Surrounded by mountains and hills that defied levelling, a February rest didn’t seem possible then. But now, a wind has begun blowing, its rushes and whispers sweeping away the mists, uncovering a forgotten path, hidden till now.

          Beckoning,

Step by the wayside

Where the old ways wait

Little Steps, Little Paths

Be of good courage, for neither grace nor the help of the Sacred Heart will be wanting to you. Our Lord wishes to save you; He will not let you perish as long as you do not willfully do what you know displeases Him.   ~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoqué

          12 days into the new year, God sends me His word for the year: obedience. Through the emissary of His own Heart, St Margaret Mary Alacoqué, God gives me the light for the year ahead. It is not the answer to pleadings I have tucked into the Heart of Jesus. Instead, He tells me how I can find Him – through simple obedience.

          Beginning from a small act of work-related obedience yesterday, God gently teaches me what I often fail to see. That heavenly help and grace are always there, in abundance and perfect for every need; yet, to reach deep into those jars, it will take obedience on my part.

         The obedience to lay down everything at His feet. Every single thing.

Every fear. Every worry and frustration.

Every fervour and happy intention as well.

          Just because something is good, will not mean it’s willed. Just because something is difficult and frustrating will also not mean it’s not willed. I won’t always know which is which – but God will. And that is why He has come to save me the trouble of getting into a twist when I have to do something I don’t particularly wish to, and even before I do something that might seem so right, yet, which could nonetheless, be wrong.

          Still, I’m not that thrilled. Though I want all the help and grace I can have for a crease-free life, to be reminded of the prerequisite is to burst the bubble, for the roads of obedience are truly, truly my Calvary.

          Then, the angel shifts my eyes away from the hard, high roads.

Little steps, little paths

And mountains will fall, and hills be moved

          Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day.

Little steps, little paths

          Even for obedience.

3 Gifts

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This divine Heart is naught but sweetness, humility and patience, therefore, we must wait. . . He knows when to act.

~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

 

          Advent is many things but above all, it is the season of waiting. Shedding more and more of the weight of the year as we make our way to Christmas, we nevertheless tuck petitions into heaven’s gates. Even those who claim they have nothing to ask of God do indeed ask to be loved by their very dismissal of God.

          I have a heart full of asking, myself. Ever the one for asking, not even Christmas deters me from wearing down the path to heaven. But like so many others, I believe I have good reasons to petition God and so I do. That we get all our baking and cleaning done with fewer occasions of frayed tempers. That I meet my two academic deadlines in the next two weeks. That our quiet Christmas goes well despite not being able to be with extended family due to our older children’s very short Christmas break and conflicting college schedules. For a Christmas gift of a more joyful and manageable work life for my husband and me.

          Oh, and that a nice wind blows into our town and blows out our new boss and another colleague who just cannot allow anyone to rest simply because they do not have peace within themselves to do so!

          A few quiet minutes before the day ends for us, comes this gentle word from heaven.

This divine Heart is naught but sweetness, humility and patience, therefore, we must wait.

          In a thrice, I see what is lacking in my asking. And also, what has been in rather short supply in recent days.

Sweetness, humility and patience.

          I think of the mountains in our life which need moving. The little Christmas petitions aside, we have other deep concerns regarding our jobs and our nation’s future. But St. Margaret Mary comes to remind me that it is not my job to move those mountains. Mine is to choose sweetness, humility and patience in all I do, and as I wait for Christmas. Heaven is asking of me 3 gifts for the Child to come in 3 weeks.

          I bow my heart. Not my will but Thine be done.

 

 

Lent 37 ~ Light for the Dark

          Above all, I beg of you to be always gay, joyful and happy, for this is the true mark of the Spirit of God, Who wishes that we should serve Him in peace and contentment; do not be uneasy or anxious, but do all things with liberty of mind and in the presence of God.   ~  St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

          Holy Week began on a difficult note but today, things deepened without warning and completely knocked me off the hill. I finally broke down at Jesus’ feet, my first time in some weeks.

          Still, I had a feeling I was under some kind of attack. I don’t usually see things in this light but I did today. Because today, having heard of vicious attacks against Ukrainian women and girls, I felt I had to do something. Knowing how packed and busy my day was going to be, I needed to be able to make some kind of a continuous offering, alongside the calls of work. Hence, I decided to offer up as many Hail Mary’s as I could, asking Mother Mary if each bud could in some way be used to save the life of a woman or a girl.

          A few rose~buds in, everything began to unravel. Even minor issues threw me off balance, on and on, snowballing till late afternoon. By late evening, as the humidity of an impending storm singed the sunset hours, I knew I had barely given anything towards so great a need. Hell was being unearthed in Ukraine and here I was, as usual, tripping over far smaller trials. Darkness had seemingly won.

          But someone saw, and someone knew I needed help against whatever was blowing hard against me today.

Above all, I beg of you to be always gay, joyful and happy, for this is the true mark of the Spirit of God, Who wishes that we should serve Him in peace and contentment;

          How do I be this gay, joyful and happy when dark winds rise? I wondered mutinously. How do I not lose the mark of the Holy Spirit? For once, I felt that beloved saint~friend did not have God’s word for me today.

          Just as frustration began to curl into me, I saw it,

…do not be uneasy or anxious,

but do all things with liberty of mind and in the presence of God. 

          On my own, I can do none of the above for I bear no kinship with the serene lotuses of still ponds. The quiet peace of saints continually evades me. But if there’s anything I’ve managed to learn, it is that I can always trust in God to grant me every grace to fill every dry gully of need. What I have need of, He will provide.

          So, back to God’s Heart I went again.

          This time, into Its depths I gave up my darkness. In exchange I took His Light.