The Saints await us; the Angels await us; Mary awaits us; and Jesus stands with the crown in His Hands wherewith to crown us if we shall be faithful to Him.
~ St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
There are some days when our heavenly reward means less to us than immediate release from the problems plaguing our lives – but some people just cannot bear for us to say so. In their compassion, they hurry to comfort us, and in the course of it, sometimes end up hurting us more when they brush aside the pain of our struggles.
The fact is there will be days when our pain overshadows our strength to carry and to love our crosses. Such days are too real, and they must be acknowledged, not shushed down. Yesterday and today were such days for me. I clung with all my might to the prayer my angel taught me, Jesus, I will trust in You, and it became my lifeline as the waters churned and churned around me. Yet, in the pre-dawn hours of today, I struggled with the stress of new work responsibilities in spite of that prayer. It was as strange a struggle as they come: the storm seemed to attack my mind but not my heart – which remained as calm as from the moment I prayed the trust prayer.
It then struck me that even if I was praying the prayer to trust, it didn’t mean that my pain could or should be blanketed over – because if I did, it would mean that my Jesus wasn’t big enough for my pain. It has also been said that to withhold our pain from God’s scrutiny is not an attempt at courage, but actually one of lack of faith – we are professing our lack of belief that the God who cares for even the simple sparrow would care enough about us to take our pain unto Himself.
Hence, I came clean on my struggle. Even as I continued to affirm Jesus, I will trust in You, I told Him about my fears and hurt. That after promising that rest was coming, it seemed as if He had instead allowed the earth to open up over my head by placing me in a leadership position when all I wanted was to be unheard and unseen.
On and on went the struggle. It felt as if something was determined to win and I sure didn’t look like I was going to make it through. In desperation, from the depths of my heart, I called out for the saints who had journeyed with me for ever so long.
Sr Lucia of Fatima
St Joseph
St Padre Pio
St Faustina
St John of the Cross
I will trust You, Jesus
I will trust
I will trust
I will trust
Sleep then claimed me.
When I awakened, all was still. In my heart. In my mind.
writingonmyheart 
Oh that sounds like a very hard time but you handled it best you could by offering the pain and trusting… And all these Saints would have been with you.🥰
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Oh, that’s so true, Cécile! Sleep eluded me but when I called upon the saints, sleep came immediately. That shows just how close they are to us and how attentive to our needs.
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We use St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori’s Way of the Cross for stations every Lent. I especially am touched by the last part of every prayer at each station “Grant that I may love You always, then do with me what You will.”
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I agree – it is very touching. What humility of soul of the person who prays it from the heart.
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You’ve made a very good point, I think. Having faith doesn’t mean pretending the pain doesn’t exist. As you say, brushing it aside almost indicates that we believe Jesus can’t handle our problems. We need to be honest with ourselves and honest in our prayers, because only then can we find peace. Thanks for this post!
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You’re welcome, Ann. I’m glad this post makes sense to you. I struggled for many years with the fear of coming clean with God and it affected me. Thus, I pray this post gives hope to all out there with similar fears.
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