Your Times Are In My Hand

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PRAYER OF ST. BRENDAN

Help me to journey beyond the familiar

and into the unknown.

Give me the faith to leave old ways

and break fresh ground with You.

Christ of the mysteries, I trust You

to be stronger than each storm within me.

I will trust in the darkness and know

that my times, even now, are in Your hand.

Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,

and somehow, make my obedience count for You.   ~  St Brendan

          A day after the words, The end is nigh, a new world/life awaits you mysteriously appeared on my screen and then disappeared, I came across the above prayer from St Brendan, the monk’s words piercing my heart gently with its sweetness.

journey beyond the familiar

and into the unknown

          At the sight of those words, a tiny nightingale began to sing a strange, new song outside the door of my heart. Nonetheless, even as my heart harkened hesitantly to its melody, an invisible Hand withheld the lyrics from my understanding. No other word beyond this was given to me.

Give me the faith to leave old ways

and break fresh ground with You.

            In the days since, I have been listening in to the winds as they too sing an unknown hymn amongst the trees, the wind~wraithes turning over a secret among themselves. Is it to do with my job, I wonder? Is it time to leave for something better? And with that my heart goes two ways: one in tremulous glee of unknown joys ahead, while the other retreats into the shadows of familiarity, impossibly favouring unhappy folds long known, over the uncertainty of a new life elsewhere. What if I exchange hell for hell? After 23 years of being chained to unhappiness, I am fearful of leaving and starting over even if I long so much to find joy in my work in the few years I have left before I retire.

I will trust in the darkness

          A resolve comes to life within me. I will trust in the darkness of not knowing what lies ahead, if joy lives in wait there, whether in this place or somewhere else all new to me. The God I know got me through the past year; I know He can do anything He wills, move any rock or mountain in my way, level the most impossible of paths. It is in Him that I will place my trust, my lord of Miracles. Why even this past week, I have been seeing a version of myself which I haven’t before. Facing challenges better, making wiser decisions, still afraid and still given to bouts of worry, but much less so for both. If I dare say it – I am almost like an Easter version of who I once was! All because I’m trying my best to tuck my mountains into His heart and to hold His hand tight.

          What do I do as I await the signs to unfurl their truths in the skies of my spirit? I wonder and ponder as I scan the familiar path within my sight. In clear answer, the word from Heaven comes,

Tune your spirit to the notes of heaven,

And live out your days in obedience to Me,

For your times are truly, truly in My hand.

7 comments

    1. Those are my thorns too, Ellen. I’ve been rather good this week but who knows what the coming weeks will bring. Like everything else we all have our good days and also days when even the smallest level of trust and patience is so difficult to summon. But we’ll heed St Francis de Sales whose quote you wrote about in your blog post and rise each time we fall.

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  1. God is always with us, every step of the way. When we focus on His light, the world grows less dim. He lights our way through the darkness. He lifts our weary hearts and brings us hope. We don’t need to know all the steps that are ahead of us. We only need to know that we can take it one step at a time with God’s help. It is like we are crossing a stream and we must land on the next nearest stone to cross. God reaches out to take our hand as we ‘leap’ to that stone. There is mystery in this crossing, and we must accept that. We must trust that we do not make the passage alone. We must trust in the wonder and beauty of not always knowing. When you look back at the stones, you will see how far you have already come. Without those little ‘leaps’ you would not be where you are. It is wonderful that you are trusting your mountains to God’s care! He will bless your journey, mountains and all…It is enough to know that God knows the next nearest stone where you must land. This is our faith. This is our story. We trust God’s passage across the stones.

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    1. We must trust in the wonder and beauty of not always knowing
      I must admit, Linda, I never saw it that way. I always become anxious not knowing how the road ahead bends. Of course, peace has no home in anxiousness and I’m tired of living such places! So, I will trust in Him for He sees everything.

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      1. Sometimes, the most beautiful things in life come to us when we least expect it. When our hearts are open to the ‘open road’ ahead, we find treasures unaware. Trust is always key. Only God knows the path before us; He will meet us there. That is all we need to know. His timing is perfect, His love perfection. Take hold of His hand; He alone knows the way.

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  2. What a lovely prayer! And you are so right to simply trust in God. None of us knows what the future holds, but the one thing we can be sure of is that whatever happens, God will be with us.

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    1. That’s so true. 2021 was evidence of that. He asked our family to walk an extremely difficult path. Often it seemed we were doomed to fail but each time He brought us through. I sense this has altered something within me – for the better!

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