Lent 33 ~ Time to Leave

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          Despite keeping to a regular Lenten posting schedule, I was still surprised to realise that Holy Week was almost upon us. With that dawning, came the usual regret that life wasn’t more quiet, less harried to allow me to sink deeper into this final quiet.

          But I also knew that one thing at least was in my hands: to cut off from two online communities I was added to recently and to regain some measure of quiet. I have never liked being part of online communities where I cannot block notifications of posts. Something about those bell-icons, red bubbles, green bubbles, what-have-you – annoy me deeply. Yet, as it is not in my nature to simply ignore any form of messages or notifications, in order to have some peace, every single day – sometimes even several times in a day – I have to stop everything just to clear the ever-growing cache of messages.

          Soon, I realised something else too: I was making a habit of scrolling through those hundreds of messages before deleting them, in the fear that there might just be something important to take note of, and in the process, I was being drawn into so many lives and endless rounds of conversations.

          I’ve always been interested in people. If there’s a vineyard of need, I want to help if I can. And there have been times when the pain of people in these two communities have moved me to reach out and offer them my bread. However, it was also growing upon me that I was being drawn out too much and in danger of wading into imagined needs, pouring energy and help into what were actually hidden wastelands.

          About a week or two back, I decided that today, my Thursday of illumination, would be the day when I would cut my ties to those two online communities which were connected to my professional life. Unfortunately, when the day arrived, I wasn’t as sure that I should do it.

          But Someone was sure that I needed to cut off.

          Driving along shadowy roads to work, the skies above were silver and lavender, embroidered with a sprinkling of diamond~stars. My heart ached. For the thousandth time, I wished I could just quit my job and just rest from the never ending cycle of hope and disappointment.

          Just then, I caught sight of a familiar blue-caped emissary, perched on the side of the narrow road. The kingfishers have become a little rare in recent months. This was the first time ever I saw one sitting unexpectedly on the road. Hitting the brakes to avoid injuring it, I knew immediately that the only reason the little kingfisher was there in such an odd place was because God had meant it to be His sign to me, to tell me,

Quieten Down, Listen Up

          The noise had to go. No matter what minute benefit I stood to lose, it was time to leave the communities. So, as rain~pearls curtained the fading hours after work, I deleted my ties and left for good.

          All because a little blue king had perched by the side of the road to bring me God’s will where I had none.

6 comments

  1. I love the image of those rain-pearls! God does work in mysterious ways…I am glad you found the Kingfisher along the road. If not, you might have missed a very precious pearl, one that might bring you some much-needed peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. God does whisper to us – words of wisdom if we just are willing to listen! I have deleted work connections as well and have not regretted it for an instant! I am preparing to do the 7 Church Eucharistic Adoration on Good Friday – at first there were just a few going but now it has become a “thing” and it is a tidal wave…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you on the ‘no regrets’. Clutter is rarely a good thing to live with and I’m glad God got firm with me to do something about it.
      I’m intrigued by the 7 Church Eucharistic Adoration. I plan to take leave on the day so I will have time. I’m going to look it up. Thanks for sharing that, Val.

      Like

  3. For what it’s worth, I think you made the right decision. Those online groups can take up too much of our time and emotional energy, and that’s not the life that God intends for us to live. I’m glad he gave you a sign, and even happier that you recognized it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right, Ann. For a very short while I needed to be part of them but that time had passed. What was surprising was how attached (negatively) I had become to those groups, it was like a sort of loyalty. It told me this is an area of my life that might always be that proverbial St Paul – thorn. It never goes away, this tendency to form negative attachments, thinking you always have to be there for others. Thankfully, in this case it has ended swiftly and well!

      Liked by 1 person

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