…because of the tender mercy of our God
by which the daybreak from on high will visit us ~ Luke 1: 78
Two days ago, I came across this verse, and it was like someone had ever so gently held an orb of soft light over me. In that very same moment, I felt moved to forgive a colleague here who had done me a harm no one should have, and not after what we had both gone through a few years ago. But bathed in the gentle light of St. Luke’s verse, none of that harm mattered any more. I found I could pray from the very depths of my heart, despite my own weariness.
Today, pondering the verse once more, other things come to mind. Over the weekend, I had submitted my final assignment for this semester. It has been a grueling journey, one I care not to take on again. Yet, I must say, that final assignment brought me so much joy in the learning it accorded me. More than that, was the way heaven reached out and helped me through, step, by step. For every struggle to understand, I found the right books and the right articles. For every struggle to find the right words, someone was always there by my side, unseen, yet helpfully pushing words towards me, like a little child pushing his little blocks across the play table, each word finding its perfect fit within a sentence. There were days too when I worked from night till almost 5 in the morning because it took so long to make sense of things. And whenever I allowed myself to wonder, Can I get this out in time? Can I do this?, I felt an answering certainty, not mine,
A little more, you’re almost there.
One evening, just before the end, I had looked up into the wan evening sky, to see the fading glow from a white~yellow sun, veiled by a sheen of mist. For some reason, it reminded me of my womb, from those ultrasounds during visits to the doctor when I carried babies within me. You are going through a birthing, confirmed a voice from within. Suddenly, I saw the truth of it – the long days and nights of struggling to understand and to learn, all the struggles to love and to forgive even when hurt, being deliberate in withdrawing from work to care for others and to pray for them, seeking stillness even in the depths of busyness – all so very much like the struggles of birthing, of the battle against the self to bring life into this world.
The splendour light of heaven’s glorious sunrise is about to break upon us in holy visitation ~ Sr Kathryn James Hermes, FSP, Luke 1: 78 (The Passion Translation)
So, there is a purpose to all of this, nothing random in this weave of tight days. This is but the journey of each soul making its way to that day of the glorious sunrise, the journey of so many of us, of mine and yours too. Golden, happy days when every little thing is beautiful, interspersed with knotted moments when we doubt and fear and let go of God’s hand, when we fall and think we can never get up again. Each of those days, like different pearls on the same string, all going towards that mysterious sunrise.
We are all headed there, from every part of the world, from every sort of life. To heaven’s sunrise we are all journeying, to where every bitterness will finally birth its sweetness.
Just when we think we cannot move another step, we will have arrived just where He wills us, and
the splendour light of heaven’s glorious sunrise will break upon us