More Than A Sparrow

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Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s knowledge.
Even all the hairs of your head are counted.
So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. ~ Matthew 10: 29 – 31

          After a late-night sparring with an insensitive and thoughtless colleague from work, I awakened to a Saturday morning, still an angry red from the thorns of that unexpected conflict. 

         Pausing at my window, I looked out at our front lawn. The first rays of the sun were already falling from a blue-and-white-tufted happy morning sky. It should have been a cheery start to a much waited for weekend but it wasn’t because of a late-night text message sent by someone who had thoughtlessly pushed aside consideration and compassion. On any other day, I might have absorbed it, fumed over it in silence, and them, moved to comply. But Friday night wasn’t any night; it was one of the many nights we have been enduring, in deep suffering and emotional privation that has yet to see its end. And some days, you can only take so much before something erupts from the force of relentless stress and pressure.

          Friday night was such a night. At my window the next morning, I was upset that even the gift of a fresh Saturday morning, a blue-and-white day, wreathed in the gold of new sunshine, was dulled due to what had happened. I had prayed for God’s forgiveness in case I had sinned by engaging with my colleague when He had told me to be still and to let Him fight for me; and I had prayed for my colleague too even as I prayed to forgive her – but it seemed as if any allure the golden morning promised had been extinguished.

          Presently, I saw something I don’t often see: two sparrows poking around and pecking at the thick grass of our lawn beyond the window. Their littleness and perhaps, their nondescript appearance do not make them the birds I often search for or listen out for. But I know they are always around – on the fence, on tree branches, on the electricity wires, pausing for a quick moment to collect bird-thoughts before urgently taking off.

          They are everywhere but I’ve never noticed them on my front lawn, even if it’s where they always are.

          Soon enough, I forgot about the wee brown birds. There were Saturday things to do and a nice twilight ride out to the countryside to look forwards to.

          And then, the sun speared light through the clouds. Another text message from my colleague was awaiting me and it was clear a light had pierced her. In that moment, the thorns of the previous night left me and I forgave her from my heart and told her my love for her remained. In a few quick strokes, the bitterness of the night had passed and I went on with my day, my heart much lightened.

          Towards the end of the day, driving out on languid roads, a JJ Heller song, Don’t Give Up Too Soon, came on. 

10 comments

  1. Conflict is always uncomfortable so I can imagine the restless night. It is amazing (though it shouldn’t be) that God has his hand in our lives. We see it in crises but fail to see it in the normalcy of daily living… So happy that things are better!

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  2. God always puts something in our path whether thru another person, by sight or within hearing distance to help us realize what He wants from us. I am glad two little sparrows could bring you the peace God wished for you.

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    1. Thanks, Ellen, for reminding me that He can and will speak in many ways; I have to find Him in the big and often, in the little too.

      And wishing you a belated Happy Birthday. I’m sorry I couldn’t wish you on your blog. Being healthy, happy and filled with the joys of thanksgiving, living in such a beautiful part of the country, knowing you are loved and cherished by enough people… that’s so many things to make a 70th birthday beautiful.

      Like

  3. Sometimes we just have to be open to seeing the signs God puts in front of us. I think it’s natural to forget now and then, and to engage in battles that we know we can’t win. The important thing is to eventually see our mistake, and to turn around and put our trust back in God to protect us and guide us. We are never alone, and that knowledge helps us face even the scariest situations!

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    1. One thing I’m learning, Ann, is that the knowing that God is with me only comes when I’ve been emptied of myself and my long train of whines. For as long as I’m filled to the brim, preoccupied with my troubles, that knowing never comes.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It always amazes me how God never gives up when there is something important we need to know…at any given time. He seeks us out and The Holy Spirit works within us. I just listened to a meditation from one of my bloggers, Robert Frohlich. He stated what we know to be true from scripture: “There is no peace apart from Christ.” We are conflicted by so many things…God always offers His peace. It is there all the time. As Robert says so beautifully, “We must pay attention to the Holy Spirit. We must be aware day to day.”

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    1. I take this reminder right into my heart today. There is no peace apart from Christ; thus, there is no peace outside of His will, no matter how contrary our decisions or journeys are compared to other people’s. I am discovering this anew during this time of testing.

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      1. Praying for you…wishing you peace always. 🙂 God’s love is a flame that never burns out…His eternal love is without end. Remember that flame when you feel lost. That is the light that follows you wherever you go, whatever you do. Sometimes, I pray with a candle burning…it is a reminder that God’s Holy love is miraculous and healing. Focus always on that light…that is where our hope lies. That is where our life begins…We all get broken. We all hurt. Only God can heal the broken places…only love can fix anything at all.

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