The psalmist talks about eyes being dimmed with sorrow. Mine are literally dimmed with weariness and emotional exhaustion. What a terrible test for me and for so many, many others. Sometimes, I crumble in anger, but only for scant minutes, for the squall passes over me quickly now.
And through it all, from yesterday, an old, old hymn in my inner ear, Here We Are.
Here we are, altogether as we sing our song joyfully.
Here we are, altogether as we pray we always be.
How do I sing this song of sorrow and uncertainty – joyfully? Is such a thing even possible? As if in answer, another line from the song comes gently,
Keep the fire burning, kindle it with care,
And we’ll all join in and sing.
The fire of faith must burn on. Keep the lamps trimmed and ready.
My loved ones on another continent, and my dear~heart blogging friends, hold me close to the Cross. From miles away, they will me on, Keep your eyes on Him, God will protect you
During Rosary last night, I pondered Jesus’ terrible journey through Calvary, His Crucifixion, the piercing of His Heart. Precious Blood and Water all poured out for mankind. Although my suffering is very small against what my Jesus endured, for the first time, I feel a severe drying out within me, all of me. Not just of my spirit, as I’ve often come to know, but this desert has now reached deep, deep within me. I truly have nothing left. Only the love of my earthly and heavenly friends hold me bound to my crucified Jesus.
How do you go on when everything has been poured out?
Replace my blood with Yours.
The old prayer I prayed in times past. I recall the day I found the prayer, and the mystery of it. When all is gone, Replace my blood with Yours, Jesus.
Then, I realise, the hymn, Here We Are, has stopped playing in me, the voices of the unseen choristers stilled.
And I understand why. Because it is now time to pray the prayer of repentance. And of conversion.
Replace my blood with Yours