I believe that I shall see the bounty of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD with courage;
be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD. ~ Psalm 27: 13 – 14
In the days following Easter, over and over a single verse resounded,
This is the day the Lord hath made. ~ Psalm 118: 24
And with it, a quote that came to me during Lent,
God always answers prayers – just not our way.
Exactly a week ago, I needed to make that long drive to the city. I actually dislike driving long distance; I’d rather be driven, free to let my mind drift and roam and dream. But that Friday, I felt I needed to drive myself there, even if I didn’t feel like it because being alone meant being able to go and be in church.
As usual, letting myself into our still and empty church, it seemed worth all the difficulty. The welcoming silence and peace within God’s Heart is without compare.
I cannot recall everything I took to the Risen Jesus in my hour there, but I did set down my prayer cart before Him, and linger by it a while before finally reaching for my much loved copy of In Sinu Jesu. I will go back to a lot of noise, Lord, I told Jesus. So, please let me hear Thy voice, if You will. Loud and clear, I added helpfully. The tyrants at work were warming up to their innate talents. I needed to keep God’s voice close at hand for when the days grew long and hard, as I knew they would soon enough.
So, I attentively read word after word, line after line, parting the boughs and leaves in search of His words for me. Along the way, finding humble little blooms, I dutifully gathered them and tucked them absently into the posy in my heart.
When you are weak, come to Me
When you are burdened, come to Me
When you are fearful, come to Me
Yes, Lord, thank you, Lord, I know, I know…. but is there anything … more? I looked deeper. There had to be something for the days and weeks ahead.
When you are assailed by doubts come to Me
When you are lonely, come to Me
With small sigh, I gave up. My hour in church was nearing its end. I thought of visiting a little store on my way home and getting us some things for the weekend. Turning my gaze back to the Crucifix behind the Tabernacle, I felt a wave of tiredness wash over me. So, I decided against going to the store. I would spend those minutes here instead, rest a while more.
And so I did. Just a while. Just Jesus and me and the little birds fluttering their wings against the glass panels of the church. From outside, the muted drags and hums of passing vehicles reminded me of what lay waiting. Work, duties, responsibilities. Nothing much had changed in my world but I had. Always tottering and in turmoil, the recent weeks had found me a little more steady on my feet. My friend, Linda Raha told me once about counting our blessings each night and that found its mark in my heart. Making it a point to be grateful each day, picking little flowers of thanksgiving each night has gotten me to a better place.
Come to Me
Come to Me
Come to Me
Perhaps for now, that was all the grace I needed.
Just before I packed up, again, one last look but not expecting anything.
You did not expect to receive these words from Me today… ~ In Sinu Jesu
They were not the words I was hoping for. Not searing, not a light-bolt that strikes the heart, slicing through the fog.
You did not expect to receive these words from Me today
They were words of a friend. A friend of the heart. One who can sift through the layers which cloud our seeking, knowing what our spirit needs most.
You did not expect to receive these words from Me today
Just as I was rising to leave, He speaks so gently, tenderly. And again, as before, they were not the words I sought but they were the ones I truly needed. Because just like that, everything came to a rest. The seeking dried up and a cheery quiet slipped in to take its place.
writingonmyheart 