Lent 6 ~ Replace With Yours

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          Just before sunset Mass last week, God called me to console Him for victims of oppression as well as for oppressors. Then, He placed in my heart a light longing for a Blood of Christ prayer. Later that night, He showed me a specific oppressor to focus on, one of my bosses at work.

          The next morning, the yearning for a Blood of Christ prayer deepened and going in search of one, I was returned to an old blog post from 3 years back, Heeding the Confessor. I had forgotten all about it, so I was slightly surprised to see that the post was about that specific boss. Reading it, I recalled that the tug of spirit at that time, 3 years ago, was to pray the Blood of Christ upon that man.

          More chilling was the bible reference given to me about him. It was the parable of the Rich Fool.

Then the Lord Jesus spoke this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. ‘And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.”’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’ So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”   ~   Luke 12:16 – 21

          Every line that described the fool described my boss.

          At the time of the post, I had just been severely torn down by him. I was fighting anger. I didn’t want to pray for him. But St. Maximos Confessor had come and urgently told me I had to channel my anger into prayer for the man; I couldn’t allow my anger and hatred for him to steer me away from the prayer he needed so much.

To the extent that you pray with all your soul for the person who slanders you, God will make the truth known to those who have been scandalized by the slander.   ~   St. Maximos Confessor

          And so, I fought myself and prayed for him with the simple Blood of Christ prayer Jesus had slipped into my heart.

Blood of Christ upon me, Blood of Christ upon him.

          That was 3 years ago. Now, yet again, this man was brought before my eyes so firmly that I knew God was not about to tolerate any excuses from me not to pray for him. So, once more, I tried to pray that same prayer, Blood of Christ upon me, Blood of Christ upon him.

          I didn’t feel a hand stop that prayer. Neither was it lifted away from me. Yet, it felt different this time. It didn’t quite… fit. I spent the rest of that day and today gently seeking the prayer for this man and every superior that he represented. Nothing came. Instead, today was tough. The sullen weather. Work that progressed slowly. A technical breakdown. Long, long work hours. Signs of a bad flu attack. Left without a prayer yet knowing I had to pray, I offered up this arid, angry day and all its knots and gnarls for the conversion of this man.

          I finally drove home tiredly, nothing much left in me. I put my heart out once more, wanly searching for the prayer.

          A small hand pushed a memory across my heart. A memory of the post that was written just before Heeding the Confessor.

          It was Replace my blood with Yours – ‘Yours’ as in the Precious Blood of my Christ. The second my heart  uttered the line, I knew I had found the prayer of conversion for my superior.

Replace his blood with Yours

 

 

 

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2 comments

  1. Caitlynn,

    The best book of Maximus is Maximus the Confessor in the Classics of Western Spirituality Series published by Paulist Press from 1985. It contains the Four Centuries of Love, also known as the Four Centuries on Charity, as well as the Trial of Maximus. The trial is actually one of the great trials of history, but not well known in the west as it should be.

    Caitlynn, one site that I think would be spiritually fruitful for you is Linda Noskiewicz’s God’s Loving Messages to Us. https://www.gods-messages-for-us.com
    Linda gave me the following mantra:

    Pray a lot and don’t judge others;
    Love God and your sisters and brothers.

    I love her site and I highly recommend it.

    Happy Feast of the Annuciation!

    Like

    1. Wow, James, I hadn’t known anything about Maximus Confessor beyond the words he brought to me in my hardest struggles. I will try and look him up, hopefully, there might be a pdf of some of those writings.
      Thank you for the pointer to Linda. She is a friend a to me and a good and pure soul she is. I’m not surprised she pointed out those ‘maxims’ to you – she literally lives those mantras in her life, I believe, and therein lies her peace and strength.

      I now understand that it may sometimes be difficult for us to obey and live God’s Commandments in our daily lives; which is why He may sometimes lay a specific prayer on our heart – like He gave me:
      Blood and Water,
      Heart of Jesus,
      Have mercy on me
      (in my struggles to obey the Commandments)
      Have mercy on… (whoever else it may be – enemy, oppressor, just someone we see who might be struggling…)
      When we struggle with His Commandments, those special prayers empower us to rise above the struggle and to win the battle.
      Thanks for helping me see this once more today, James.
      And Happy Annunciation Day to you too!!

      Like

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