Towards the end of May, my heart heard two summonses:
Those were the calls to action. I knew I was being told to do something. But what?
A week later, the mists parted slightly.
Beloved, the end of all things is at hand. Therefore be serious and sober-minded so that you will be able to pray. ~ 1 Peter 4: 7-13
Be able to pray. That was the call. The call to intercession.
The moment I received it, on the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, when I had just asked for the spirit of atonement for myself, a feral wind blew, almost knocking me down. At church, someone I have come to distrust, came to me, slyly bearing a tale to trouble me.
To lead me back to old wastelands the Angel had freed me from.
It took me a week to overcome that Corpus Christi attack. By then, I had lost sight of the call to intercede. Even as I did continue to pray, the clouds had gathered and thickened over my spirit, and my vision was obscured.
This morning, cleansed and nourished by the peace of wild things, a light returned. Sharp, clear, piercing to the core of my heart.
Stand before the Lord.
… let us be watchful with greater intensity… standing on one’s feet … expression of vigilance…be one who watches… stand guard before the relentless powers of evil… keep the world awake to God.
… be one who stands on his feet: upright in the face of the currents of the time. Upright in the truth. Upright in his commitment to goodness.
Standing before the Lord must always be, in its inmost depths, also a lifting up of men to the Lord, who, in turn, lifts all of us up to the Father.
And it must be a lifting up of Him, of Christ, of His word, of His truth, of His love… be upright, unwavering and ready even to suffer outrage for the sake of the Lord, as shown in the Acts of the Apostles: they “[rejoiced] that they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name” (Acts of the Apostles 5:41). ~ The Hidden Homilies of Pope Benedict, Holy Thursday, Chrism Mass, March 20, 2008
I now understood the words my spirit had seen.
Rise! Arise! – were summonses to return to the watchman’s post I had fallen from in my many weeks of struggles.
Shine! was the holy exhortation to keep my soul and the souls of my brethren pilgrims awake to God.
And then, I remembered an old, old call. One that has returned repeatedly and insistently,
How many times have I pressed the veil to yield its secret, to no avail. But today, in the morning hours scented by the rose~golds of freed breezes, I finally learned its meaning. Flee to the hills is heaven’s shout to me to run and shine the Light of God from the towers, high above the rocks and dunes of turmoil.
For it is now the hour of vigilance before God.