I’ve always wondered, if I could be pierced so deeply by the slightest hurts, why could I not be struck as deeply by the beauty of the world around me? Why am I primed to react so to woundings, but not to the loveliness gifted by a Father who Loves? How can a spirit so sensitive to nicks and cuts not rise in ecstasy to the pearling of dawn, the song of winds and the glory of blooms?

          What is holding me back? Why am I not the child I once was?

          Where has this child gone?

          On his birthday yesterday, my spiritual father, St. Pio, reached out to me through another’s words,

… so many killjoys, afraid to enjoy today for fear of what tomorrow will bring… don’t let’s ever be afraid of things. It’s such dreadful slavery. Let’s be daring and adventurous and expectant. Let’s dance to meet life and all it can bring to us… (Anne of Windy Willows by Lucy Maud Montgomery)

          Fear. Slavery. Those were the reverberations of the past weeks. Although I’ve come a distance from my past, I’ve not forgotten the lessons of fear a child should never have been taught.

          A huge storm cloud rises in the east. It rolls up upon us and breaks its grey breast in a wild torrent. Gone is the blue~gold glory the dawn sun promised. In its place queens rich greens, freshened by the weeping rains. Yet, no mourning dirge sounds for what has passed. No mourning is needed – for this is what life is. Each hour brings us its own surprises. In staying my glance too long on the years that have passed and fearing what the coming may bring, I risk losing the present hour’s gifts. 

          Let’s dance to meet life and all it can bring us. Could I learn to be this way once more – like a child again? Is this what God wants of me? I want to be sure, I want God to tell me. I ask Him again, I want to hear Him speak to me.

          Softly, a mist forms and breathes its word upon my spirit.










  1. God’s children are here with you as you call us to see beauty…to expect joy …to be thrilled by the Father’s whispers.
    With much love for your honesty and struggles, we call back to you to lift our eyes from our own bouts with the “adult” world’s harshness.
    Be our guide to the littleness and quiet simplicity of our Savior’s love wherever it is.

    You have the eyes of a child. See us. We are your friends. Let’s play.

    God’s Child

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The moment I saw your post, something whispered in me that my answer lies here.
      Littleness. Quiet simplicity. As Ellen has just reminded me, I need to willfully make the right choices in my everydays. To choose Life each time, each day.
      And for me, Life is to be found in littleness and in quiet simplicity. Because that is where Jesus is.


  2. I was raised with a punishing God that could be found through suffering. Today I see that I modeled him from the teachings of the Church and my mother. I sought healing and in that process I’ve found that the best way for me to connect with the Divine is through joy. That doesn’t mean he isn’t with me during times of trouble. I always feel his presence. I have just learned to shift my sights onto all the good in the world. You are such a beautiful person. There is so much out there for the taking. Take joy. Sending you love.


    1. I think there is a lot about the Church teachings and the joy that saints experience that we have yet to understand. For us, so much has been learned through the filter of parents (and other voices) – on the wrong side of life. Hence, there is much to unlearn as well. And learn we will.

      In the recent days that I have been trying to understand why I can no longer soar as I once did, the words of an old post from Commonplace Grace, have returned over and over to me:
      Seek joy
      I first read them as I was clawing back from the brink. Although I had almost forgotten what joy was back then, your post gave me so much of hope for what lay ahead. I will never forget that day you lit a light for me with your love.

      May God bless and keep you safe, Sue, now and always.


  3. It bothers me terribly in recent times on how many people blame God for all the violence, hatred and tragedy in the world. It seems that everyone is focused on the negative in life. Why can’t we stop and enjoy the creations of God for the beauty He put in them. The landscape with its ever changing colors, the smile of a new bride, the giggle of a small child, the touch of a loved one’s hand, etc. God created man with the ability to choose. Sometimes he chooses wrong. We cannot blame God for those choices but we can praise God for His creations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It seems that everyone is focused on the negative in life.
      Yes. Sadly, yes.

      Why can’t we stop and enjoy the creations of God…
      I think many of us have forgotten how to. We have lost our way in the woods and don’t know the way home. We have grown accustomed to fretting and worrying and fearing. We have taught ourselves to not know about any other way of living.

      God created man with the ability to choose
      Thank you for this, Ellen. I see this now. It is actually that. Every single day to choose Life. In the greys and doubts, in the fears and troubles, choose Life. And joy will come from that.


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