Lent 19 ~ Littlest Bells

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          We often believe that it’s the loudest gongs that get our attention in life, but yesterday was proof yet again for me that that the most tiny of bells can hold its own.

          It was my Reparation Monday again and I began the day with a prayer that God tell me who or what my daily struggles should be offered for. I briefly imagined that it would be for priests, but swiftly damped that down when I remembered I should not direct.

          When I asked again, the face of my friend’s son came before my heart. We had met at church the previous day and she had told me about recent struggles with her son who seemed to have grave psychological issues. The child’s face had stayed before me through much of Sunday, but I certainly didn’t expect God to ask that I suffer for this child on Reparation Monday.

          But He did, and so I did and I hoped the difficult day and the worth of its tough hours did something for that troubled child.

          I had worked outstation that day and some health issues preoccupied me throughout. When the terribly hot red evening hours came, bringing with it lethargy, I forgot all about suffering for children, even my own, and decided I deserved to put my feet up and rest a bit. Dinner would be whatever there was, kids could help vacuum the floors and the family laundry could stay in their baskets.

          But an email had come in from a dear~heart blogger friend. In it were the words,

Busy with my grandchildren

          I heard a soft chime as I read those words. As I read them again, my own brood returned home from sultry evening farewells. The draining day had taken a bit more out of them than usual and they were not all-about-the-place as they usually were.

Busy with my grandchildren

          Today was to be lived and struggled through for children. It began with my friend’s son and now my own needed me. That was the message of the bell. Getting to my feet, I whispered the prayer I had learned late last year, I Choose Jesus. For that boy, for my own.

          Somehow, I found the needed vigour to attend to the calls of home and hearth.

          I can’t help but wonder just how many of such little calls to reparation through children must have slipped unheeded to fall and be lost in my busyness and in the many, never ending tempests of emotions, day after day after day. How many people, known and unknown, how much they must have hurt, just because I was too caught up in my inner noises to hear the silver chimes that come softest.

          My thoughts return to the Adoration I am called to each day. Being still and silent with my Jesus is merely to run my fingers over the surface of the lake. Much, much more lies below. And reparation, caring for children, choosing Jesus for those who won’t – these and more are all somehow tied to Adoration.

          The tiny silver bells that chime for me go far deeper in Adoration than I realize.

 

 

 

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3 comments

  1. Caitlynn, are you a victim soul? I am blind and wheelchair bound, and cannot read your Blog very well, but I have managed to read this post. I too offer up my sufferings for others. I am going to try my best to read some more of your Blog now. It is so nuce to find someone else who does this and who actually writes about it. I would like to make cintact with you. Beautiful writing. Lorraine

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    1. I am just who I am, Lorraine. A mum with kids. I faced many struggles from my childhood days but it is only now that I’m beginning to learn that suffering is worth its weight in gold. I wish I had known that sooner. I wish there were blogs and stuff that I could have accessed earlier. It would have helped heaps. So, in a way, Lorraine, that’s why this blog is here. I write to make sense of life and I post so it can help someone stay sane and find God.

      There’s a huge Cross you have, Lorraine. Mine are smaller, and yet I struggle!

      May God help us both!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, Caitlynne. So very very true. I have only found this out latterly, and only through a very good and spiritual priest that I had. He is no longer around, but it was he who explained what was happening to me. I was on this road, but no one had explained it. He brought the victim soul thing up, but I have never, nor would ever, claim it for myself. Uf only I too had known sooner about how to deal with suffering, and to make it yseful and not wasted. But I know now, and yes, I too still struggle. So it is so good to have found you, and your Blog. I will read more if it. I too was told by God to write, and I have, but I wantedbto write anpurely spiritual blig and when I tried to set one up it all went wrong andnlinked into my other one. I too write a Diary. So I will look into how to set up anpurely spiritual one now. Yes, if we can help others it is truly wonderful. I am so excited to have found you. You certainly do seem to be helping a lot of,people. God bless you Caitlynn

        Liked by 1 person

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