It’s one of those days here, when the sun hides like a sulking child behind clouds so low, the sky has all but disappeared. I’ve never liked such days, when the sun, and even the winds seem to scowl, dripping its discontent into my heart. It’s a day when I cannot feel the prayers I say. Every word out of me seems empty, withered and forced. I struggle to concentrate to mean the words.
I’m tempted to cope with the dry rustling within by breaking from prayer, when I remember the Los Lobos’ song, How Far Is Heaven?, gifted to me by a commenter close to my heart. Thinking of the lyrics, I fleetingly sense spirits I cannot see, in pain, and asking for comfort.
In a pearl drop moment, I decide to leave the day to work out its mood for I have work to do. I bring forth a soft, old rose I love but keep hidden within me, and hold it before God. I shakily thank Him for the rose and its wounding thorns. I don’t know why I do this, just that the time for it has come.
Then, I ask my God what He wills of me.
In a silver whisper comes Heaven’s answer, Tumble rosebuds.
And so I begin. Through the dry weave of daily mundanes. Not an offering of an entire Rose~wreath, but tumbling a rosebud of a Hail Mary, into every tear the angels bring.
Caitlynnegrace
May each bud prayer flourish in the moisture of a tear dropped from the tender heart of our Blessed Mother. Your soil is rich and deep. Your life garden will continue to be rewarded with copious incensed blooms. Pick them, arrange them and share them with us as only you can.
How can we truly appreciate God’s roses without being thankful for the rain?
Always with you,
God’s Child
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Thank you for this beautiful hug of encouragement.
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Oh Caitlynne! this is beautiful. The dryness of prayer is something I can relate to easily. But you so intriguingly and wonderfully bring hope and blossoms as you “weave through the daily mundanes.” The title is captivating as is the photo. I agree with the previous comment in that you do give us, through your writing heart, gorgeous bouquets ‘as only you can!” Our Mother must be so joyful!!
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If you found hope here, then, Cynthia, I am a very happy person :). Oh, and welcome home.
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Great poetry and truth in what you write here Caitlynne. There are times when we feel really low and even our prayers seem to have no purpose. But they do, really. God is listening to us regardless of our moods and feelings.
When you feel like you describe, and even when you don’t feel like praying, the best remedy is to pray for someone else. Concentrate your efforts, no matter how short the time, on someone else. And if you can spare a minute, pray for me. Thanx.
God bless you.
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I certainly will, my friend.
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