For the Broken

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          Yesterday, coming out of the dregs of difficult weeks, the sullenness of grey skies and a shuttering of morning winds didn’t bud optimism and cheer in me. I went to my prayers with a dogged determination but it was a struggle, especially when it came to praying for those who were hurting me.

          Then came the 1st Reading for the day – 2 Thes. 1: 1 – 5, 11 – 12, and a light scattered its hope within me.

Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy to the Church of the Thessalonians
in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
grace to you and peace from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ.

We ought to thank God always for you, brothers and sisters,
as is fitting, because your faith flourishes ever more,
and the love of every one of you for one another grows ever greater.
Accordingly, we ourselves boast of you in the churches of God
regarding your endurance and faith in all your persecutions
and the afflictions you endure.

This is evidence of the just judgment of God,
so that you may be considered worthy of the Kingdom of God
for which you are suffering.

We always pray for you,
that our God may make you worthy of his calling
and powerfully bring to fulfillment every good purpose
and every effort of faith,
that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you,
and you in him,
in accord with the grace of our God and Lord Jesus Christ.

For the very first time, I felt the words were written for me and for every broken reed.

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8 comments

  1. Dear Caitlynnegrace,
    The recent heaviness of your tone…the scariness of the dark surrounding you…hides the lightness and brightness that is you. It brings you down from the loftier, sunlit branches of God’s “living” tree where we look for your beautiful heart throbbing word images.
    It’s okay, though, because from this grounded, fallen posture, you must look up (like me) and ask, “how far is heaven”. So many of us fly to the earth only to loose sight of the physical presence of our Lord’s sunshine. We are there together though and can be lifted back up by each other’s plaintive songs to reach for him…to fly in hope to Him to be loved back to warmth.
    This may be a bit profane when compared to your scripture quotes, but I invite you to listen to the plaintive cry from an unexpected source that brings this universal yearning to be with God that we all experience from our earth grounded conditions. You deserve to cry “How far is Heaven” like Los Lobos. Hope this alternative but sincere sound brightens your day and lifts you up to a higher emotional (spiritual) perch where you belong.
    Reachingly,
    God’s Child

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God is really great, God’s Child. I had begun to worry about you, if you were ill, if the crosses were biting too deep. He heard me and brought me your voice.
      I am sorry if the sun has gone out of the posts. Even I felt as much too! In recent writings, I’ve had to keep the posts in a warming basket while I waited for a definite Yes, post it, from God. That was how unsure I was if people needed more rain clouds over their troubled horizon.
      Yet, each time, He insisted that my dark posts see the light of the blog.
      I am not depressed.
      But the struggles have been immense.
      Sometimes, all I’ve had is the all too brief hours of a single day to draw in breath, before the next onslaught begins. Every time, I have preferred not to write, fearing that my words will burden those already bent over in pain.

      And every time I moved away from the call to write my darkness, God made it known that I had chosen to live outside of His will in those hours of rebellion.

      Still, I think while perhaps lightness has dispersed from my writings, there is still light. Light of a different sort. Maybe not the light of release and joy and laughter, as much as the light of strength-burnished faith to meet the uncertain winds ahead. A new faith that comes only from being down, from being broken.

      And somehow, God’s Child, He wants me to write to shine this particular light. Perhaps someone out there needs it more than any other light I have 🙂

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    2. I looked up the lyrics to Los Lobos’ How Far Is Heaven, incidentally written by guitarist Henry Garza as a prayer. When he was 18, his son died of sudden infant death syndrome (S.I.D.S). It’s about the pain he felt and wanting to escape this world and see his son.

      You didn’t choose this song for me, my friend. God did, through you. The lyrics of intermingling grief and strength went right to my heart. It is clear tonight. He wants me to make an offering of my secret pain so it can be transformed into a salve for other wounded souls.

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    1. Thank you, Victor. I read your post early today. You remind me of a diligent sower – always in motion, sowing laughter and tickles and giggles everywhere. Are you sure you don’t have wings? 😀

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  2. We need to read/hear of the struggle to know we are not alone in our own and to witness how we each deal with the darkness that is part of life. So helpful and honest I always needed to read the Saint’s struggles to feel like there was hope for me, that I am not alone in my own humanity and sojourn through the light shadow light shadow here in our brief passage. However “crammed with heaven” (Milay) this earth is still fallen and we are steeped in darkness and need to address it in ways that are helpful for others; in ways that rest our hearts in Him. You write of the “broken reeds” so poetically and beautifully that no amount of darkness can extinguish the shimmering light of them. Prayers for you Caitynne…love and light of Christ in you and around you.

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    1. Amen, Amen, Amen. How right you are in saying that we need to know we are not alone in the dark. And how much we need to know there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I received that from someone on a forum today, and I hope I can do that for others too.

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