Day: March 22, 2016

LENT 36 ~ Empty Your Cup


          Empty your cup, said the Lord to me, as I flew headlong into the sullen morning that awaited me in the impatience of a hundred tasks. I arrived at work to the news that some people had made foolish decisions that impacted me. Their actions put paid to the hours of work I had put in.

          The light of justified anger flashed.

          Empty your cup, said the Lord instead.

          Stood a long while staring at what lay broken before me. Tempted to rage, I took a deep breath and sighed, and went on to other matters.

           Soon, I found myself in something else. The stubborn hearts of my subordinates stood like an unyielding wall before me. I was tired of being patient, of putting up with irresponsibility and indifference.

          The light of justified anger beckoned once more. I looked at it.

          Empty your cup, said my Lord yet again.

          So I leaned my heart against His breast and drew from His strength; then, turned back to face that same resistance, but with a gentleness foreign to me. 

           I came home, at the wind down of a sandpaper day, stumbling eagerly into a cool welcome and the gentle embrace of a love long gone. On my table awaited a letter from someone whose only purpose in life was to torment and bully. Red-stained memories and the stench of past pains rose before me.

          Empty your cup, said the voice of my Shepherd, cutting through the rising choke.

          I looked with a longing at the dark arms of sin held out beseechingly towards me.

          I bent instead towards my Lord. Thy will be done, I whispered.



LENT 35 ~ Jesus Fought My Battle

St. Sebastian, St. Sebastian (41)[1]

          Yesterday, the Lord called me to a fast from anger.

          Never before have I felt such tenderness in a call. Never before have I found the firmness of will to obey. 

          The moment I sensed the call, there arose like mushrooms after the rain, endless pops of situations that tested my patience, and tempted me to anger. Seeing the end of Lent in sight, and not wanting to gift my Lord on Easter with the usual mess of red darts, I willfully chose to rest my heart and will in Jesus.

          And He fought my battles for me.

          I came to evening weary and listless from physical tiredness, but also with a relief that no one did I maim with my anger. Neither did it find a refuge within my soul in the sultry hours of yesterday.

          Because, for once, I fasted from myself and let my Jesus fight for me.